"instincts"
don't say that,
my wounds are healed once you say things like that
don't make me feel special
it'll hurt more when we part.
i'm just a friend,
don't tell me i'm your best friend.
all my "best" friends left me.
just because i'm "stupid"
just because i'm "clingy"
just because i'm---
"just because."
it doesn't end, this loss of friendship.
i've always been trashed, dusted.
no matter how similar we are,
no matter what we make,
no matter why we do,
no matter where we go,
no matter what we have,
no matter who we find...
i do not betray, i am betrayed.
why did she leave me for someone who hurt me?
why did she leave me for my differences?
why did she leave me even when she found out the truth?
why did she leave me for another friend who didn't care?
why did those "friends" befriend me if they were going to leave me?
is that how you're going to be?
then i don't need you,
i'm fine--
i don't have to follow you.
you don't need me,
you're fine with that fake happiness.
how are we doing without one another?
i'm sure you're fine.
so sorry i'm clingy,
my deepest apologies i'm not useful
did you ever think i'm just fragile?
behind my smile, how i'm feeling...
under that laughing face, what i'm thinking...
you don't know the real, weak me.
you only know the side of me that's "normal."
i've thought beyond life;
my thoughts lead to your anxiety?
i hide this personality so as not to make you feel...
uncomfortable.
i know you'd never want me as a friend--
if i allowed my weak side to flow out.
my words are my true, weak self.
your words show me nothing.
our lives, lived in different worlds...
you know?
"all"
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